When people get old, you sometimes hear them say how they can’t keep up with the latest trends. Well, I recently experienced an incident in which I was not only late to party of the trend, but it had actually already gone out of style by the time I arrived.
You see, some things become a thing and remain a thing until we hate the thing. That’s a confusing sentence, so let’s try it this way: some things become a thing and remain remain a thing until we hate the thing.
Note: There are rare occasions where a thing becomes a thing only to technically lose its thing status but still remain somewhat thing-esque, so perhaps we could refer to it as a “thing.” For instance, Saturday Night Live spent nearly four hours on Sunday reminding us how it was once a thing, and despite no longer being in the golden years, it could probably, at least, still be considered a “thing.”
All of this somehow leads us to selfie sticks. Extenders, tri-pods, sticks, fishing poles, whatever-you-want-to-compare-them-to that you attach to a camera in order to get a better angle on your selfie pictures. Honestly, I didn’t even know that these things existed until we, as a society, decided to hate them. And even after extensive research, I can safely say that I have no idea what the big deal is. There have been articles, exposés, and I’m sure dissertations are on the horizon. People have started petitions to ban these harmless props from not only restaurants and museums, but entire countries. Think about the kinds of literally-death-inducing items you can carry around with you anywhere, but we’re more concerned about a group of tourists trying to take a goofy picture in front of the Statue of Liberty?
Are we really so offended that a person would want to take their own picture from about three feet away? No really, that’s a legitimate question. I need to know this stuff so I can be one of the cool kids again. Maybe there’s an app that can keep me up-to-date on the latest things.
P.S. I sincerely apologize to all my former English teachers who told me to never use the word “thing.” I look forward to your comments.