Rodman to the Rescue: How The Worm Saved The World

Over the weekend, I saw the headline “Dennis Rodman has chat with Kim Jong Un.”  Of course, my immediate thought was, “Wow, this Onion article is taking off a bit more than usual.”  But I soon learned that this wasn’t a joke, but that in fact Rodman had visited North Korea and spoke with the Supreme Leader.  Keep in mind that the most recent, highly recognized person to visit the mysterious country was President Bill Clinton; something tells me we may have skipped a few steps on the scale of diplomatic hierarchy.  But what the hell?  Let’s see what The Worm has to say.

According to reports (that I briefly skimmed over and don’t really know the full details of), Kim told Dennis that he loves basketball, to which Dennis responded that President Obama loves basketball, and that’s a good starting point for talks.  In the end, Dennis says that Kim simply wants Obama to call him.  That’s it… Wait, that’s it?!  The leader of one of the most oppressive countries in the world that is a constant threat of nuclear war just wants to talk sports over the phone?  Whoda thunkit?  Basketball + Telecommunications = Peace.  Think of the bloodshed that could have been spared if only Naismith and Bell were born 200,000 years earlier.

But seriously, of all people, it’s Dennis Rodman who can get North Korea to say, “Hey, maybe we don’t have to destroy each other.”  Dennis Rodman—a member of the original Bad Boy Detroit Pistons whose outrageous lifestyle was well documented and who set NBA records for technical fouls only to blow all his money and appear on Celebrity Rehab for his alcoholism—has reemerged as a peacemaker.

Of course, this all could be just one big pile of bullshit.  As the cliché goes, “Consider the source.”  Rodman’s reputation doesn’t lend well to his case.  And yes, it’s tough to trust a country that once said their leader shot 11 hole-in-ones during a single round of golf.  But isn’t there a little voice inside of you that wants to believe?  Especially when it’s in regards to a place as bizarre as North Korea.

The culture and politics of North Korea fascinate me.  Any documentaries, articles, Reddit forums, etc. that I’ve read on the subject have still left me baffled as to what is their main objective.  World domination?  Nuclear power?  Free pizza?  Their motives are vague, so any guess is a good as another.  For whatever reason, they continue on, even if the entire planet is aware of their atrocious human rights policy.  No one has cracked their code yet, but perhaps that’s beginning to change.

When people think of peacemakers, they will recall names such as Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  He’s only starting out, but maybe one day The Worm will be on that list.  I never thought I’d say, “Let’s follow the lead of the heavily pierced man with green and pink hair wearing a wedding dress.”  But if he gets us there, you’ll hear no complaints from my end.


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