This is not the kind of reaction you would have in a situation like this in your hometown. But here you are…
Okay, enough of the homage.
Y I’m not going to write this in 2nd person. ou’re
On my way home from dinner the other night, I turned onto my street and immediately noticed that at least twelve police vehicles were lined up outside an apartment building just a few down from mine. One of the cruisers was parked just a little too far away from the curb, which made driving between it and the car on the opposite side of the street a tight squeeze. I managed to wiggle my way through unscratched and pulled into my driveway, all with a single thought running through my head: “Man, these cops really need to learn how to park.”
So to clarify: In relative extreme proximity to my home was an incident that required at least a dozen squad cars. Assuming (for dramatic purposes) that each car housed two cops, then there were approximately twenty-four police officers. Just a few houses over. At night. Clearly, something big was going down. Was it a huge drug bust? Domestic violence involving a gun? It doesn’t even matter, because all I could think about was how terrible of a job they did parking.
I believe this is somewhat unique to living in a city, because when a major incident likes this occurs, you don’t think of what the hell could be happening — you only think of how it’s going to inconvenience you. See, if I was back in Oklahoma, and two cop cars showed up in front of someone’s house in a town that was fifteen minutes away, then boy oh boy. You’d best believe that we’d be gathering up some canned food, grabbing a battery-powered radio, and beelining it to the safe room. Lock the door and get cozy, y’all — we’re riding out the apocalypse.
But now, ehh whatever. Just don’t let your armed robbery interfere with me getting my Starbucks in the morning.