How to RSVP for a Party

If I have to RSVP for a party, I often put myself down for three guests.  When I show up with just myself and one date, I make the joke, “We got hungry on the way.”  No one laughs, and I usually leave the party alone.



Spiritual Experiences at Starbucks

The other day I was sitting at Starbucks, enjoying a nice cup of coffee, when all of a sudden this young kid–couldn’t have been more than fifteen years old–came and sat directly across from me. He stared deeply into my eyes, as if trying to take a peak at my soul. I sat in silence, looking directly back at him. I felt the urge to ask him a question, but I wasn’t sure what that question was. Finally, he took a sip of his coffee, and began to speak:

“This is not a physical universe,” the fifteen year old said. “There are no solids, no liquids, no gases. Only energy. Our interactions with those around us are nothing more than molecules bouncing around without order. But that’s not to say there can’t be order. With just a little bit of work, you can control these molecules, and harness that energy to build your life however you see fit.”

This fifteen-year-old kid took another sip of his coffee and continued. “Align your thoughts with what you desire, and watch as this realm begins to shift in your favor.” And with that, this fifteen-year-old kid calmly stood up, grabbed his coffee, and headed for the door.

It took me a second to regain my composure, for what I had just witnessed was other-worldly. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and finally realized the question that had been bugging me from the moment he sat down. And such a great, powerful question it was. I had to know the answer, or else how could I continue my life’s journey?

I looked. He was mere inches from the exit. Time was running out. I quickly jumped to my feet and shouted at him, “Who the hell drinks coffee when they’re fifteen?!” That kid’s an idiot.